Red - Movie review

RED
A; ACTION
Dir: Robert Schwentke
Cast: Bruce Willis, Helen Mirren, Morgan Freeman, John Malkovich, Karl Urban, Mary-Louise Parker
Raitng: **


WHAT'S IT ABOUT: CIA retirees are drawn out of anonymity to fight for their lives as an unknown enemy seeks to silence them... forever.

WHAT'S HOT: Bruce Willis may not have hair on his head, but the guy still has the mojo for action in him. Ditto for Helen Mirren, who I must admit, would be better appreciated if she weren't trying so hard to bring some chutzpah to a pretty one-dimensional trigger- happy character. But, by far, the most entertaining of the lot has to be John Malkovich, who plays Marvin, a loony bin who had been on LSD for 11 years and is paranoid about anything and anyone. Some of the shootoff scenes are truly worth watching, while others try.

WHAT'S NOT: Well, here's the thing. I found the graphic novel by Warren Ellis and Cully Hamner and published by the Homage Comics imprint for DC's Vertigo Comics. And guess what? The series onlyfeatures Bruce's character (he's Paul Moses in it) and Mary-Louise's (she's Sally in it and is blonde) and they don't fall in love. I do understand that the original work was far edgier, tighter and had a kickass ending purely because of the demands of the medium and that is wheremovie adaptations 'suffer'. But where does it say in the Make-An-Action-Film handbook that you have to make it more acceptable to all ages? Action flicks are meant to be unbelievable, unsavoury and filled withcharacters that make bad choices. And while this one has lots of guns and a few explosions, we'd really love some hand-to-hand combat, thank you very much. I don't want my experience to be watered down. Save for a few scenes, I am left wanting. Why does there have to be a love story? Why does there have to be a team for the sake of there being a team (Expendables, A-Team are similar examples with similar plotlines)? Even the main premise (finding out who wants them dead) is a complete letdown.

WHAT TO DO: There are so many films that released this year in this genre and with a similar plot that you can't go from one to the other without comparing them. In actioners, bigger is always better. This phillum was seriously found wanting. Will retire from active duty after one viewing. Case closed.

PS: And in case you're still curious, RED stands for Retired Extremely Dangerous.